haihz. im like so tired today haha... had some huge fight with daddy during dinner... but now ok lah... apologised and yeah. my daddy loves me again haha... its like. hes so worried for my a's and i dunno someitmes its like hes more worried than me... which is not really good rite hmm....
anyway. had first meeting for the china trip yst... we din really do much just play some games and stuff... goal setting blah blah... i dunno lah. im trying to be more enthusiastic for it but somehow im not really? i dunno lah... i never really wanted to go china i guess...but cos nowhere else so go lor... its qt bad rite... i mean so wad if its china? if i can serve God there den its a good place right... i will try to get out of this mindset.... on the other hand im like really excited abt india haha... maybe its tt i like medical stuff and not really teaching stuff... haha... but uncle wei leong was telling me abt it and it sounds REALLY fun and interesting! i really really hope tt i can get to deliever a baby haha... and im going to get dinesh to teach me tamil after my a's heh. oh man im really qt excited abt it lor haha... i dunno. it feels more like an adventure... dunno lah. must pray tt God will change my heart and give me love for china too! :)
oh gosh. of all the times to say this. you have to say it now... what am i to do. i mean. i did think of it before but i got it out of my system, out of my head... and now u say this!!! and its like. i cant help but think maybe...and i really shldnt!! and its like i just wonder what if and like if there is a future... but there cant be lah. as in i really dun think there can be... and i dun think that it will work out if we force it to be... and i dun wanna lose a friend cos i think tt that is the only thing that can ever come out of this... and esp not this friend... and like today the cell grp teaching was on intimacy and how we shldnt be too close to guys cos they might get the wrong idea blah blah... and i couldnt help but think is this me???? haihz. i dunno lah. its like u ask me y i will go the extra mile for u when i wun for others, y i will go and find u and force you to talk to me when noone else cared and i really dunno. maybe i shldnt have. but if i din i wun have you as my friend... and sometimes that is what sees me through the day. and its not as if i can just dun think of it... esp now when everyday im like at home alone trying to study and its just not good lah. craps man. OF ALL TIMES!
anyway. had first meeting for the china trip yst... we din really do much just play some games and stuff... goal setting blah blah... i dunno lah. im trying to be more enthusiastic for it but somehow im not really? i dunno lah... i never really wanted to go china i guess...but cos nowhere else so go lor... its qt bad rite... i mean so wad if its china? if i can serve God there den its a good place right... i will try to get out of this mindset.... on the other hand im like really excited abt india haha... maybe its tt i like medical stuff and not really teaching stuff... haha... but uncle wei leong was telling me abt it and it sounds REALLY fun and interesting! i really really hope tt i can get to deliever a baby haha... and im going to get dinesh to teach me tamil after my a's heh. oh man im really qt excited abt it lor haha... i dunno. it feels more like an adventure... dunno lah. must pray tt God will change my heart and give me love for china too! :)
oh gosh. of all the times to say this. you have to say it now... what am i to do. i mean. i did think of it before but i got it out of my system, out of my head... and now u say this!!! and its like. i cant help but think maybe...and i really shldnt!! and its like i just wonder what if and like if there is a future... but there cant be lah. as in i really dun think there can be... and i dun think that it will work out if we force it to be... and i dun wanna lose a friend cos i think tt that is the only thing that can ever come out of this... and esp not this friend... and like today the cell grp teaching was on intimacy and how we shldnt be too close to guys cos they might get the wrong idea blah blah... and i couldnt help but think is this me???? haihz. i dunno lah. its like u ask me y i will go the extra mile for u when i wun for others, y i will go and find u and force you to talk to me when noone else cared and i really dunno. maybe i shldnt have. but if i din i wun have you as my friend... and sometimes that is what sees me through the day. and its not as if i can just dun think of it... esp now when everyday im like at home alone trying to study and its just not good lah. craps man. OF ALL TIMES!
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